Umbrella Condoms

Ah, the umbrella condom. The name says it all; a protective device which enables one to prevent fluid from making its way to any number of undesirable surfaces. They come in a variety of colors (yellow, smoke grey, and translucent) and fit a large variation of sizes, although pretty much one size fits all. Application is a snap, literally. First locate a new umbrella condom. Attach the condom to the end. This can be done in either a fully erect state or when not deployed. Ensure that you attach the condom on the correct end. Verify which direction it unfolds to ensure correct orientation. The condom is only effective if you prevent premature contamination. Now unlike normal condoms, the umbrella condom must be used when the umbrella is not deployed. Simply close the umbrella. Gently slide the condom up the shaft of the umbrella, ensuring a dry and pleasant umbrella experience. Proper use of the umbrella condom will ensure that indoor spaces are free of unwanted fluids and prevent angry looks from your neighbors. Be prepared...umbrella condoms will be taking Seattle by storm this winter when our arsenal returns.