Noises from an abyss

Playing soccer in a piazza in Italy used to be an accepted past time. But apparently in Almalfi this is frowned upon as it makes people crazy. Five-thirty on a weeknight, four of us decide to knock the ball around. Nothing competitive or physical. Four guys juggling and passing. A little conversation to pass the time. Abruptly from an abyss in the urban fabric a high pitched drawn out "eeeee...ooooooo" is uttered in out general direction. I must warn you that the correct spelling of the sounds still eludes me six days after experiencing it. The noise was both odd and well calculated. The first time such Italian vulgarities are uttered at us we pay them little response. "eeee...oooo" Ok, so maybe it is one of our friends playing a bizarre joke on us from one of the hotel windows. We placate them in turning around and looking for the origin of such pollution. Silence and darkness. Back to the game, an anomaly, a tear in the interstitial fabric of time. It comes again like some horror movie haunting..."Booooccckkk....Moooooo." Now as they more closely resemble barnyard noises it must clearly be either one of our friends or the matting call of a salty dog. Between each noise is roughly a 30 second pause...yes a full thirty seconds. "Seeeeoowww." Sounds like meow. Ok we should reply as we still cannot see who is making noises at us. Clearly they were not raised with manners. As a cultured bunch of Americans, we begin meowing into the dark at this noisy object. Nothing....30 second pause. "ping....beep...beep." Maybe it is the audition for Police Academy Italy. Finally when our curiosity is reaching a boiling point a hardly discernible, unbelievably drawn out, "Sileeeeeennnnccceeeee....Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssssse" is wailed from the bowels of some subterranean lair. Squeaking reverberations bound off the battered walls of Christendom. Well enough soccer for us. Enough noises from a crazy lady. Maybe we can coax her out of hiding with a can of tuna.