09 January 2007

BodyGuard

This one will get you. Another oddity to find on the street. I know you are all wondering, "Damn boy, where are you walking?" At first I thought this was just some errant building wrap that had been blown free of a construction site. But upon closer inspection, I found myself suddenly laughing uncontrollably. So funny on many different levels, it immediately conjured up images of Naked Gun (first laugh). Then I read it was reusable. Now I don't remember much from middle school health classes, but reusing condoms was one thing I believe they frowned upon. Middle school health class (second laugh). Then I got to the non-lubricated. I found myself pondering the difference between a Hefty Lawn and Leaf bag and a non-lubricated BodyGuard (third laugh). Finally, it is only six-feet in length. So for someone like me who is well-endowed, that means two full inches are susceptible to infection. (Fourth laugh, all the girls giggling at me describing myself as well-endowed...easy ladies). Finally, my rapidly processing humor subsides and I find myself continuing down the street. An awry grin on my face as I desert this casually discarded body condom. What will tomorrow bring?

No comments: