Bravery

The Art of Human Interaction in the City

Late Night TV

Sometimes when I travel I find myself getting in at late hours. This particular episode found me getting in late to Dallas. Once comfortably in my hotel room, I found myself unable to sleep, but too lazy to find the channel guide. On the television hums. This is what I found. I only captured a few minutes of the infomercial, but imagine 15 minutes of psychedelic bosom max and enticing beckoning of the sultry Spanish voice telling me to call now. Enjoy!

For the sake of Creativity.

New Bike Safety Lighting System

Never Stop Dreaming

When you feel overwhelmed and creativity sucked from your soul, just watch this. Dare to dream, worry not how you will get there. To infinity and beyond!

Moving Beyond the Automobile Series

This is a fantastic series laying out progressive modern urban planning. Of particular interest is the final video, highway removal, as it specifically mentions the Alaska Way Viaduct.

Frozen in my Tracks

As my 30th birthday quickly approaches I have spent some time to reflect on the wonderful life I have lived. It has been filled with adventure, love, passion, and zest. A life full of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. In spite of this adventurous life I live, there have been few moments that have caused me pause. This morning was one of them; finding myself paralyzed hoping someone else were with me to witness the calamity I was seeing. I had just completed my morning workout at the gym. Now the locker rooms are ripe with abnormalities, a veritable hot-bed for spellbinding moments. There is Captain Vanity who spends more time checking out his godly nakedness than actually working out. Chatty Cathy, a incredibly social gay man who spends too much time without a towel around his waist as he catches up, his gesticulating movements only magnifying the drama. And there is Hair Dryer Hippie. His hair is as long as he is tall. It takes him a good twenty minutes with the hair dryer to work the threads; but most alarming are the unusual pauses to dry his "boys." But despite their eccentricities, these men never caused me pause. I acknowledged them, quickly dismissing them as just another layer of the complex patina that is a public gym. But not today, not this guy. After a pleasantly hot shower, I walk towards the lockers. A portly middle-aged man is preparing to step on the digital scale. His love handles casually hang over the edges of his neatly tucked towel. Small patches of back hair are herded over his shoulder blades. As he prepares to step on the scale he tears the towel from his body and deftly throws it aside, like a stripper discarding a thong. I pause. Located on the small of his back is a tattoo. Two delicately soft artful wings adorn his back. A tramp stamp by any other name, this inking would be only too stereotypical dressing the back of some overweight woman. But there it was, the crunk stamp, the douche cartouche, or gramp stamp, proudly proclaiming this man's desires. My mouth agape I stood motionless; eyes frantically scanning the room to find another person who was witnessing such magnificence. My finger defiantly trying to point, the laugh building from the depths of my belly. But there was to be no shared relief...I was alone.

Wooden Spoons + Village Idiot

Take that E-Reader

Sometimes you're the Comedian, sometimes you're the Dummy

Hawaii in a Can

Today I was down rummaging through the office, or simply going downstairs for a hot cup of tea, when I stumbled across one of the most perplexing food concoctions I have seen. I have done my fair share of traveling and have had my fair share of odd foods. Across the world people eat different foods. And although some might find various types of meat disgusting, or not particularly enjoy an exotic fruit, these are unprocessed foods. These unprocessed foods represent the exoticism of the place. It is the cornucopia of processed foods that not only scare me, but also cause me pause. My mind wanders to a laboratory in the Midwest where scientists in white robes stand over potions in an attempt to make a pepperoni pizza flavored jelly bean. Their attempt while a failure resulted in an incredibly accurate vomit flavored jelly bean, which I can personally attest to. Thank you Jelly Belly and Harry Potter. But today I ran across the oddly flavored macadamia nut. I like macadamias. I have had sweet and spicy ones and to be quite honest have yet to find one I dislike; until today. Spam flavored macadamia nuts? In spite of how wrong I see this food to be I find it somehow comforting. I can think of no better souvenir to describe Hawaii than this little treat. So the next time you go to Hawaii, fore go the boxed pineapple or the plastic lei. Instead bring all your friends back Spam flavored macadamia nuts.

Supervising Women Workers (1944)

This is a short film which was developed to teach men how to supervise women in the workplace. Viewing it from today's context demonstrates just how far we as a society have come, and perhaps how far we still have to go. As it was suggested to me; perhaps this is a video for Sepp Blatter or Andy Gray.

*The video is from the Prelinger Archive.

Bird Lady

This post is a follow up to the 2007 Voodoo Chicken post (linked in title). Today I experienced a profoundly odd event. While at the Pink Elephant car wash. I thought it would be smart to get the car washed just before the Super Bowl as the lines would be minimal and I could expedite the process. My assumption proved true, but I failed to realize that the chances of running across more crazies was increased. Standing outside in the grey northwest afternoon, I attentively watch as men dry and polish my car. An African-American woman approaches. She is walking her bike and wearing a 'Nutcase' helmet. This should have been my first warning. As she approaches I notice her carrying something. When she is near me it is revealed she is holding a pigeon by both its wings. Shocked and a bit alarmed, I wonder what is going on here. Calmly she asks me, "Do you know the number I can call to get some help for this pigeon's broken foot." Dumbfounded, I pause while I process what is going on here. I mean seriously lady, you call the pigeon police. Of course I don't know that number. So I politely respond, "No I am sorry I do not know who you should call." Although I did briefly think about giving out a friend's number as a prank. She continues to stare at me, this bird so exhausted it has acquiesced to her grip. I then inform her that I don't think it is smart for her to hold a pigeon. I mean aren't pigeons like the rats of the air? They always have weird growths and missing toes. She looks at me, confused that I have suggested she release the bird. Saying no more she continues walking down the street as the car wash workers are caught in awe as she parades her hand caught fowl for all to see.

Final Approach Los Angeles

Palin gets Owned

Watch Sarah Palin get owned by Colbert. From minutes 2:07 to 3:19 Colbert goes on a tear. Sit back enjoy and  try to keep up. I applaud you Mr. Colbert.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Mika Brzezinski Experiences Palin Fatigue
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

The Haunting Future of our Food

The reality of childhood obesity is alarming. I am not talking about the alarming increase in the number of fat kids, that is obvious. Kids are no longer chubby, they are obese. An example happened to a friend of mine recently. He teaches outdoor education courses for a school district in Colorado (the fittest state). Grade schoolers get on a bus and go off for a day into nature to learn about the outdoors, it is similar to Islandwood near Seattle. So my friend was taking kids for a nature hike. After a short distance they reach a wire fence. My friend lifts the fence and helps all the kids through; well all except one. The one young child is unable to squeeze his body between the wires. My friend now distraught as all the waiting kids are now helpless to see how an adult can remedy this situation. So my friend decides he can lift the kid over the fence. So he talks it over with the kid and then tries to pick him up. Unable to lift him over the fence my friend has to help the entire class back through the fence and cancel the hike. The class is bummed, the overweight child feels singled out and horrible for ruining the fun for all his friends. Is this anyway to live as a child? I think not.

Tonight I was again reminded of our inability to teach proper fitness and nutrition to our children. I am lucky I grew up on fruits and vegetables from our garden, we canned fruit from the neighborhood orchard, and my protein consisted of mostly game which my father hunted. I know...I am so redneck rustic, but it was an incredibly healthy and economical food source. But tonight I saw a young mother who probably didn't know any better. She was clearly in a rush as she whisked her young daughter around the grocery store. Making incredibly general assumptions, she looked to be a young working-class mother who probably had a tight budget and an even more restricted schedule. Food was a necessity and the preparation had to be minimal. Read: processed food in front of the television; no plates or silverware...only disposable packaging. As she hit the refrigerated aisles she had a choice. On her right was all the packaged meats from the butcher. On her left was the processed foods, cheeses, and ziplocked deli meats. She went left and grabbed three Hormel Refrigerated Entrees. Her young daughter was excited to have Slow Simmered Chicken Breasts in Gravy. Sounds healthy right? Now I have nothing against Hormel, but this is an argument about the issue with teaching our children to rely on packaged food. That "Chicken" had over 1070mg of sodium in a 161g meal. The other entrees she selected were heavy in sodium, sugar, and fats; not to mention the unpronounceable ingredients. Now I don't blame the mother, but this isn't food and this isn't the way we should be raising our kids.

Below is one last example of marketing that makes sugary cereals irresistible to children.

America's Joyous Future

It is moments such as this, when one receives an image that make you ponder the "American Dream." Where have we gone wrong? It would become a perfect visual metaphor of US society if it was a church renting worship space in a public school.

Penetration Details

The other day I was doing some all too boring detailing. Taking a step back I realized how hilarious these details truly are. Here they are for your enjoyment. My favorite are the Butt Strips located near the Sanitary Sealant. Suddenly my life seems more interesting.